First of all let me just say that the little girl in me is thrilled that I get to do this now!
Social Anxiety. I feel as though it is my duty and obligation to educate the black community on what this means. Why? Because I’ve dealt with it my whole life and no one understood what I was feeling. Simply put, social anxiety is going a completely different route, because if you don’t you’ll have to talk to people. Now I know this sounds rude, but if you understood the amount of fear and anxiety that courses through my body when faced with an awkward situation you would get it. It’s like a real physical response. Nervous laughter, hot flashes, nail biting (thank God I stopped that), twitching, silence, etc.
When your mind is going, “Why are they talking to me, we don’t usually talk, what do I say, ahhhhhhhh!” Now socially awkward doesn’t mean we don’t know what to do in a conflict. Don’t sleep.
We Are Allowed To Live!
By now, I’m sure you’ve made the connection to one of today’s popular artists, Summer Walker. P.S.A. Just because you see someone living free for a moment, doesn’t mean that they don’t feel awkward or anxious in other situations! Alright thanks, glad that’s off my chest fr. If awkwardness and anxiety is getting in your way I can give you some words of advice:
- Take a moment to feel all of your feelings. It’s ok that you feel anxious, but just take a deep breath and get out the jitters.
- When you’re ready, participate in the activity. (Nothing too crazy, please 😅) Don’t be afraid to be seen and show people who you are.
- Don’t allow negative thoughts from yourself or anyone around you to dictate your mood. Listen, I’ve learned that I can’t please everybody so I don’t try. Surround yourself with people and things that you love (even if it’s a few).
- If you ever feel like you’re drowning seek help. It’s ok to feel worn out from having to deal with too many confusing and unnerving situations.
- Ask a friend to go with you. Don’t be ashamed to ask someone to go with you. I’ve found that having someone there helps give me a buffer. You’ll have to learn to do it alone eventually, but until you’re ready grab a friend.
- Lastly, you will do great. No matter the turnout or how well you did, remember that you’ve accomplished an even bigger goal for yourself!
Where Did it Start?
It can stem from a lot of different places. In order to tell you where it started for me, I have to give you more background. I have 4 older sisters and being the baby meant I didn’t always have to talk. That’s why I am how I am.
Not everyone is the same!
My anxiety is worse when it comes to people I don’t know. I couldn’t talk to cashiers, servers, and store workers in general. Would literally avoid places I was supposed to attend, simply because I didn’t want to deal with the pressure to be “on” all the time. Now seeing as though I’m a 24 year old woman, you’re probably wondering how did I make it this far like that? Man, listen, sometimes you have to push that to the back of your mind and just go for what you want.
As much as we would love for opportunity to always fall into our laps ….. it doesn’t. Sometimes you have to snatch it! I’ve missed plenty of chances and big opportunities, because I was too nervous and scared to see if I actually had a shot. I doubted myself so much that I didn’t let others see my potential.
Have you ever had to call your mom, dad, or whoever and cry before a stressful event? Then had to wipe your face and go in like nothing happened?
Don’t fret you’re not alone! Get it out, then walk in with your head held high and show them who you are! Don’t let anyone see you sweat and think they can compare to who you are as an individual. You are the only you on this earth.
Thank you for reading, if you made it this far. 👀 The next post will be Wednesday @11am! The last week of February will be more Black History focused.