Have you ever had to reprogram yourself and completely change the way that you do things? That’s where I am in my life. I’m re-learning how to love myself and what I will and won’t accept from myself. (That’s a conversation for a different day) I’m also adjusting to my new way of thinking and expressing my emotions, which includes re-learning how to love someone. Now, this doesn’t have to be a romantic type of love it could also include family members and friends. When you realize that love can be expressed in better more meaningful ways, it sets the standard for how you want to be treated.
We all know that there’s a difference between romantic love and platonic love. The romantic love that you share with another is really a beautiful thing and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Growing up I had my own definition of love based on the examples I saw around me. You are influenced by what you see, but what if what you see didn’t teach you what it should’ve. You’ll grow up accepting any and everything not realizing that you’re worth so much more than that. The relationship examples that we see on a daily basis, especially in the media, are not always what I would consider healthy love. Love shouldn’t hurt you physically or emotionally! Don’t get me wrong true love will be tough and will have its ups and downs, but if you find yourself at more of the low moments then you should re-evaluate the relationship. I want to build and grow with someone who’ll treat me like their equal and show me new love everyday.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Yes, I’ve had to re-learn how to love even friends and family members. I’ve also had to set the standard for how I would like to be treated by them. Life is short and also precious, there are family members that I wish I could talk to again and hug just one more time. But I won’t tolerate any family member or friend who can’t/won’t TRY to stay present in my life. A defense mechanism for protecting my feelings is to cut people off quick. Although this has worked for me in the past, I’ve also learned that some family/friends deserve multiple chances. Only you know how someone has treated you and made you feel, so treat them accordingly. I’m pretty low maintenance, you don’t have to come with money or gifts just show me that you’re here because you want to be. You get to a point where you’re always trying to help someone and you’ve drained all of your energy, then realize no one is there to help you when you need it. As long as I was the fun Mariah everything was cool, but when I was at my lowest those same ones were nowhere to be found. Give time, love, and energy to those who not only deserve it, but also to those who give it back. You only have one life to live don’t waste it on people who could care less about you. (Read that twice)
Thanks for reading! This month is all about the issues that we face everyday and forcing everyone to re-evaluate all that they know. Happy Hump Day!