As a people, we are uncomfortable with our hair and how it grows naturally. After a discussion that I had with a reader, it has come to my attention that the phrase “natural hair journey” is a little misunderstood. I see it as a “journey” because if you haven’t always been natural, going from straight hair all the time to a 4c (or any kinky texture) is an uncomfortable thing. Some see it as almost an insult, because why are we going on a journey in the first place. The funny thing is I get why someone would feel that way toward the phrase, because why did it take a journey for us to become comfortable with our hair. I keep using the word comfortable because at the root of it all that’s really the problem. We’re not comfortable with the way it looks and have been told too long that it’s not proper.
Somewhere down the line, society has fooled us black people into believing that what we were born with has no real value. Instead of learning our hair and trying to evolve with it, we wanted to change it completely. Now, I know that there are women who still get relaxers and I’m not knocking someone for their personal choices. BUT there are women as well as men, who are totally against anything that is too black. For instance, I follow a page for people with locs and a woman posted that her husband felt that locs are “too black” of a hairstyle for their son. This to me sets a bad example for the child. These are things they’ll have to hear out in the real world, why should they have to hear it at home too? I really want to know why even in 2020, are people so afraid of some kinks and coils (formally known as naps). Don’t tell anyone but I still like saying that my hair is nappy, because it is!
Why do we live in a world that discriminates against us for something that we can’t help? By saying things like “your hair should be combed,” “braids, beads, and locs are too ghetto,” “ why do you have to wear your hair like THAT all the time.” First of all when you blurt out that our hair isn’t combed most of the time we went through a lot to get it to look how we wanted. That’s an insult to fullest extent. Nobody bats an eye when a girl with straight hair literally doesn’t comb her hair and puts it into a messy bun. A natural hair puff is almost the same thing just completely different hair textures. A messy bun can be quick messy or cute messy and a puff can be a quick solution or slick and sleek. In all honesty I could barely find pictures of girls with a messy bun like the girls I went to school with. The styles I saw were like they literally rolled out of bed and threw a hair-tie in their hair and called it done and no one batted an eye.
Ugh, ok I’m done ranting! I said all of that to say this, leave US alone about our hair. It’s more than alright to be curious and want to get to know someone else’s culture, but don’t degrade something just because you aren’t familiar with it. And please for the love of God don’t touch our hair unless you asked and waited to be given the go ahead. We are NOT a petting zoo and I personally don’t like to be touched by anyone, especially a stranger. We should be able to do what we want with our bodies and not be policed by people who have no personal experience with it, sound familiar?
Thank you for reading! Embracing my natural hair was/is a big part of getting to know me as a woman. I’ve learned that it’s beautiful no matter how I choose to wear it. It’s also beautiful regardless of how short it appears to be (don’t let the shrinkage fool you). I really want my future children to be able to embrace themselves for who they really are. I also want for men to be comfortable with their natural hair, fades are ok but an afro should be ok too.
SN: if the colors are too much let me know, thanks!